Homebodies - Any man can be a father...

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Published on Saturday, March 11, 2017

By Rita Friesen

The Neepawa Banner

Back in ‘97, my father was 74 years of age. He was already a widower, his Parkinson’s was progressing and he moved to an independent living suite in the care complex. Still a reader, still a quoter of poetry and still a deep thinker. For his birthday, I chose a simple five by eight print, matted and in a cherry wood frame. The scene is a simple one. A father trudging through the snow and carrying a bucket, followed by a young girl and her cat, are heading out to the little barn to feed the sheep – Cheviots and Shropshires. Soft tones and gentle edges, it is truly pastoral. The quote accompanying it – “Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Dad”. My dad looked at it closely and wondered if it was a photo of him and I doing the evening chores. It wasn’t/isn’t, but the memories the picture evoked for him were the same as mine. It could have been us.

Backing up even further, I recall as a very young girl following my dad everywhere. He strode with a purpose as he moved around the farm, well, he frequently stopped to discuss history and philosophy, but when necessary he strode with a purpose! He toed out and I tried so hard to match his steps, with length and angle. Came a time in life when I once again learned to match my pace to his, but now we were walking slowly, stopping often and under the guise of talking, really catching our breath and garnering our strength. The man who was known for his physical powers, walking down school corridors on his hands, feet straight above him or known for his ability to jog trot three miles home from the school while his horses rested from the morning school route and then jog trot back to the school to get us all back home, that man was still in there, but shadowy. 

Step forward, far forward, and watch me watching my husband being a father. Stepping in to be a dad in every sense of the word. Embracing a houseful of children, nurturing them, guiding them, playing with them, teaching them life skills and values. He taught his family to trust in the goodness of God, to live a humble life, and always, always, admit when you goofed up, and as much as possible, make amends. He taught by example. Work hard, be honest and fair, enjoy life. As our son accepted the reality that dad would not always be with us, he said to him, “You left me big shoes to fill.” Dad’s reply summed up his acceptance of his children, “Never mind trying to fill my shoes. You have your own shoes to fill.” 

And in his turn our/my son is leaving a wonderfully large pair of shoes for his children to fill, and encouraging them, in their turn, to fill their own shoes.