Faithfully yours - Extending forgiveness

Details

Published on Saturday, April 9, 2016

By Neil Strohschein

The Neepawa Banner

I will never forget two evenings in October 2002, because they radically changed my life.

My world had come crashing down around me the previous summer and, to put it mildly, I did not react well to what had happened. Years of anger and bitterness had built up inside of me and I had turned into a monster—someone I couldn’t even live with.

In desperation, I sought counsel from a man who had dealt with cases like mine. He listened to my story, asked some questions and then startled me with these words: “Neil, you have two choices. You can choose to forgive those who have wronged you and I will help you do that. Or you can stay as you are and you will drown in your self-pity, anger and bitterness. No one will care, especially those who have wronged you. They will blame you for your demise.”

Shocking words? You bet—but they got my attention. By then I was sick of the lingering anger and bitterness inside and wanted to get rid of it. He smiled and gave me some homework. “Go home,” he said, “Make a list of everyone who has offended you. Write down their names and what they did. Come back in two weeks and bring the papers with you.”

I’ll be honest with you—that was one of the most enjoyable experiences I ever had. By the time I was finished, I had seven pages of material. No copies were kept. The computer file was erased. That was part of the deal.

My next session was quite dramatic. My counselor asked me to read out what I had written and to imagine that those who I had named were sitting there. I read every word. Then, he looked at me and said: “Are you ready to take the next step?” I told him I was.

He reached beside his desk, picked up a large metal garbage can and set it down in front me. He then handed me a butane barbeque lighter and said: “Light the pages, one at a time and drop them into the can.” I did and in less than two minutes, everything I had written had been burned.

“Where is the record now?” he asked. “It’s gone,” I replied.

Then he looked at me and said: “Neil, this is what God has done with your sins; with everything you did to create the problems you’re going through. He has taken the record of your offenses and burned it, just as you did with the record of the offenses of others. Both records no longer exist. God now treats you as though you have never sinned. Go and treat those who wronged you in the same way. It won’t be easy, but God will give you the grace to do it.”

He was right. It wasn’t easy. It’s never easy to take the high road when people make statements about you that aren’t true. It’s never easy to stay put and keep working in the community where God has called you to serve when it would be so much easier to get a fresh start somewhere else.

But God is faithful. He never abandons those who put their faith in him. But sometimes he has to allow us to go through tragic situations and experience the pain and agony that comes when people we have trusted turn on us and reject us. But that is often where we need to be—because it is there that we learn how to be forgiven and how to forgive.