Homebodies - Adapting to a ‘new normal’

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Published on Saturday, March 26, 2016

By Rita Friesen

The Neepawa Banner

It has become a sort of a catch phrase – new normal. It applies to so many stages of life. 

Leaving home, becoming independent, that is one of our first new normals. We had to learn to budget, manage out time, take even more responsibilities for our actions. 

Huge learning curve and major adjustments – learning to live with another person. Giving up some of our independence (I said some), making concessions and learning to budget and manage our time. 

For many, the next step or stage is family life. Massive adjustments. This new normal means your house will seldom be clean and tidy at the same time. Your time really isn’t your own, and there is little time to manage, just survive! School and sports and family and job and vacation – if you are lucky! And so much more. 

Just acclimatized to the hustle and bustle of a growing family, and a new normal is knocking. Empty nest. For some, it is a triumph to have the kids out of the house. For some, it is a deep mourning that the day to day life is back to two adults, and too often the partner is a near stranger for lack of nurturing a relationship during the busy times. 

Just a step behind the empty nest is retirement. New meaning for time management! What does a person who has had almost every hour accounted for now do with empty hours? The first few weeks of retirement are delicious, drifting days of leisure and pleasure. And then what? I believe that one can take only so many holidays and spend only so much time with friends and family – though grandchildren can consume almost as much time and energy as children did! I know that one. There has to be a focus, a purpose to give the days meaning. Volunteering, going back to work, hobbies, are viable options. And then before we have explored the fullness of retirement, old age makes its presence felt. Not just in the hips and the knees and back, but in losses. 

The new normal too often requires learning to live alone. Again, budget becomes an important topic, time management is daunting – all we have is time – and once again, we have to take responsibilities for all of our own actions! Full circle. My new normal includes learning to leave on a light when I leave home. Winter is especially bad, dark before supper. Coming home to an empty ‘home’ is tough, coming home to a dark, empty ‘home’ is even tougher. My new normal dictates that I find a purpose, the course this winter worked for this winter, but what about next winter, and the one after that? My new normal demands that I pick up the phone and call a friend, or I pick up my courage and go out for coffee. 

‘New normal’, as old as Adam and as new as today.