Finding true love
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- Published on Wednesday, February 10, 2016
By Linda Rioux
Valentine's Day is the time we celebrate romantic love. We enjoy going out for special dinners, giving chocolates, red roses, jewelry and other gifts to express our devotion. But how did it all start?
Valentinus of Rome was a Christian bishop in the fifth century. Before he was martyred, his actions became the foundation of our St. Valentine's Day. He was imprisoned by the Romans for wedding soldiers, forbidden to marry by their military, and for ministering to persecuted Christians. Valentine would cut hearts out of parchment and give them to soldiers as reminders of their vows and of God's love. While in prison he healed the daughter of his jailer. Before his execution he wrote that young girl a farewell letter signed, “Your Valentine.” It is easy to see how his actions developed into our sending valentine cards and chocolates in heart-shaped boxes.
Through the centuries it was poetry that kept the love/St. Valentine's Day connection going: Chaucer in 1382, Charles, Duke of Orleans in the 15th century, Shakespeare circa 1600 in Hamlet, John Donne and Edmund Spenser with their poems and then the ultimate cliché love poem,“Roses are red, violets are blue” in G. Gurton's Garland of Nursery Rhymes in 1784. In 1797 The Young Man's Valentine Writer was published, filled with examples of sentimental verses. By 1847 mass-produced valentines were being made and mailed both in England and America. In the second half of the 20th century sending cards was extended to all kinds of gifts. In the 1980s the diamond industry promoted Valentine's Day as a time for giving jewelry. Currently the Internet has led to new traditions such as e-cards and printable greeting cards.
So what does all this have to do with true love? Not much. As Shakespeare wrote, “The course of true love never did run smooth.” As we get older we realize that we've experienced every kind of bumpy love: broken engagements, divorces, betrayal, one-sided love, violence, indifference – all from someone who promised true love. Romantic love is sweet for the moment, but unless it is built on something other than sentiment, hormones or tradition, it is doomed to disappoint.
True love — the kind needed for a lasting relationship — is grounded not on feelings alone but also on commitment and promises kept. Self-sacrifice, patience, friendship and generosity are all qualities needed to fuel a long-term relationship. That used to mean marriage. But what happened to that concept? Society has turned away from God's standard of true love. And we see the result – loneliness, hurt feelings, insecurity, broken emotions, moral decay, family instability and the decline of the social structure which was built on marriage.
Let's look at God's kind of love. There is a wonderful love chapter in the Bible, I Corinthians 13. In it God tells us His concept of love and how it should be expressed. There would be patience, kindness, a desire to protect, trust, hope and persevere through the hard times. There would be a lack of envy, boasting, pride, anger and long-held grudges. All these qualities together are beyond our present nature; they are God's standard and need to be God-empowered. He created a vacuum in our souls that only He can fill, because God is love. He proved it when He entered earth as a man, lived a sinless life, died on the cross for our sins and rose alive from the grave, victorious over death. That kind of power can restore our souls with a love that can really make a difference.
You may say that good men have given their lives to save others and you would be right. But none of them was the Lord God, above all gods, who stripped Himself of His glory in order to save everyone in the world who wants Him. Only through Him can love between us and God be restored. Only almighty God could do it. Take advantage of that great loving sacrifice! Ask Jesus Christ to be your Saviour and revive the God-love in you. Experience what it will do in your life! That will be finding true love.
