My perspective - Family, friends, community
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- Published on Thursday, January 7, 2016
By Kate Jackman-Atkinson
Neepawa Banner/Neepawa Press
As 2015 becomes 2016, many people find themselves looking at ways to make the next year better than the last. It’s a natural time to take stock of the past year and look at changes that can be made going forward.
For many people, the changes focus on healthier eating, exercising more and taking better care of one’s own self. For some, they want 2016 to be more fulfilling personally or career wise–travel, career advancement or meeting someone special. For others, they just want to forget all about 2015 and start with a clean slate.
Regardless of the changes, the end result is that everyone wants to be happier in the future.
Last November, Robert Waldinger gave a Ted Talk titled “What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness”. Dr. Waldinger is a clinical professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and the director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, a 75-year study tracking the lives of two groups of men. He’s uniquely positioned to talk about happiness.
While most studies rely on hindsight, asking people to look back and remember how they felt or what they thought in the past, the Harvard study talks to its participants at regular intervals throughout their lives. It began in 1938 with 724 men. The first group was sophomores at Harvard College when they started the study. These men all finished college during World War II and most of them served in the war. The second group was a group of boys from Boston's poorest neighbourhoods. Most lived in tenements and many without hot and cold running water. These boys were chosen for the study specifically because they were from some of the most troubled and disadvantaged families of 1930s Boston. Today, 60 of the original men are still alive and participating in the study; they are mostly in their 90s.
Every two years, the team of researchers calls up the participants and works to get the clearest picture of their lives. They interview the men in their living rooms, get their medical records from their doctors. They draw blood and conduct brain scans and talk to their children. They videotape them talking with their wives about their deepest concerns. About a decade ago, the Harvard team asked the wives if they would join as members of the study and so they too are now included.
The results may be surprising and show that the key to happiness is equally accessible to the richest of rich and the poorest of poor. The undeniable result was that good relationships are the key to health and happiness.
Waldinger pointed to three big lessons they have learned about relationships from the study. The first is that social connections are really good for us, while loneliness kills. From 75 years of study, the researchers have found that participants who are more socially connected to family, friends and community are happier, physically healthier and live longer than those who are less well connected.
The second lesson was that the quality of an individual’s close relationships is what matters. It turns out that high-conflict marriages, without much affection, are very bad for one’s health, while living in the midst of good, warm relationships is protective. When the researchers looked back at the participants at age 50, it turned out that the people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.
The third and final lesson about relationships and health is that good relationships don't just protect our physical health, they also protect our brains and memories. Perhaps surprisingly, the study found that for 80 year olds, being in a securely attached relationship to another person offered protection against memory loss. The people who felt that they could count on the other person in times of need were the people whose memories stayed sharper longer. The relationships didn’t have to be without conflict, but provided the participants felt that they could really count on the other person when times got tough, the arguments had no effect on memory loss.
As we all look for ways to improve our happiness and health now and in the future, perhaps this is an area on which we should focus. While we may think that fame and fortune will lead to happiness, 75 years of study tells us something different. After 75 years, a clear pattern has emerged; those who fared the best were the people who tended to their relationships with family, friends and community.
