What the mirror doesn’t tell you

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Published on Saturday, September 19, 2015

Submitted by Tara Kauenhofen

The Neepawa Banner

You know that moment as you’re getting ready for your day, hair is done, make-up is on, clothes picked out, the one where you're feeling alright about yourself and the way you look?

You think, “Yeah, I feel beautiful today.” Then the hesitation and doubt creeps in and all of a sudden, you're looking in the exact same mirror and the reflection you see is someone totally different. Someone who looks unkept, hair out of place, make up blotchy. Words like, ugly, worthless, not beautiful start to creep in. You get that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach, your eyes feel like they are welling up with tears and you can see the joy slipping right out of them. 

That is a moment I feel on a regular basis. If I am being honest, about 85 per cent or more of the time I feel this way. I, and many other women, put on a facade, a mask if you will; to cover up the fact that we don't feel comfortable in our own skin. It’s a daily struggle to get up the courage to leave the house because that means people will actually see me.

I will have to be alright with the way I look, or at the very least, pretend I am. This has been a struggle my entire life. Growing up, and still today, there was always someone skinnier, more fit, faster, more beautiful, funnier, more interesting, more beautiful. Since having my son, not only are people more fit, skinny, etc, but if you tag "after having a baby" onto all of those above things, it becomes an entirely new struggle.

I read somewhere once that you will never truly see yourself, all you will see is a reflection of yourself. This quote hit me pretty hard. Looking in the mirror, the reflection that I see is not what the world sees. I may think that my hair is out of place, I'm not losing baby weight fast enough, I have a pimple, my make up is not how I wanted it. But the reality is, the world might not see those things. I am sure that as I am looking at women and comparing myself to them, they are doing the same to me.

So, in moments like these; when you see yourself a little differently, remind yourself of a few things, you are a child of the king and are made in his image, which makes you a beautiful, wonderful creature. You will never see yourself the way your husband does, so just accept it. You cannot and will not see yourself the way the world does and when you are feeling vulnerable and imperfect, remind yourself, you are not perfect, you never will be, because you were not created to be perfect. You are a mess but you're God's mess and he made you more beautiful than you will ever know. 

Tara Kauenhofen is a young mom who lives in Brandon with her husband Dan and baby son Sebastian.