Homebodies - Did you hear the one about...
- Details
- Published on Friday, April 3, 2015
By Rita Friesen
Ed’s birthday was April 2, and he became accustomed to the wise ones saying –‘ one day away from being a fool!’ Those of you who got to know my beloved know that he had an unusual sense of humour. This column is dedicated to the jokes he told. Laugh if you like.
‘Marriage is like taking a bath. After a while, it’s not as hot.’
‘ Did you hear about the guy who wanted to drown all his troubles? He couldn’t get his wife to go swimming with him’.
‘Two brothers, bachelors, and basic stay at homes, decided to take a trip and go to ‘the city’. They arranged for a neighbour to come over and do the farm chores. Much to the neighbour’s surprise, when they arrived to do the evening chores, the boys were back home. When asked how come they returned so soon, they shrugged and replied, ‘nearly got to the city and saw the sign ‘Winnipeg left’, so we decided we might as well go home.’ Ed could deliver a dead pan ‘Winnipeg left’ and as we travelled, and we would chuckle.
And then there was the ‘mighty king of the jungle. ‘A lion decided to prove his superiority in the jungle. As he strode about he met a monkey. The lion picked him up and swung him around and demanded – who is the mighty king of the jungle? The monkey whimpered, ‘oh you are, you are’ The lion released him and continued on his way. He met a giraffe, climbed the long neck, cuffed the beast on the ear, and demanded, - who is the mighty king of the jungle? The giraffe assured the lion –‘oh you are, you are.’ And the giraffe lowered his long neck and the lion dismounted and walked on. The lion met an elephant. Approached the massive beast. Reached up and slapped the giant’s ears. Repeatedly, and roaring – who is the mighty king of the jungle? The elephant entwined his trunk around the lion’s body and whacked him against a couple of trees, slammed him onto the ground and stepped on him as the elephant left the scene. As the lion tried to shake it off, and stagger to his feet, he called to the retreating victor –‘ well, you don’t have to get so mad just because you don’t know the answer!’
Recommending a friend: ‘he wouldn’t see you stuck – he’d shut his eyes first’. Or -‘ I’ve seen a worse one, once.’
Some of the one liners his family will always hold dear: failing to come to a complete stop at the stop sign –‘ I’ll stop twice next time.’ And then there is the one his entire community can recall – ‘ it’s no good’. Also his perfect reply to any ‘ how are you, Ed?’, ‘no good, thanks’ One of a kind.
